Humid evening. Kids on summer break. Eid vacation too. I am walking at the park near my house. My husband behind me is trying to catch up soon.
My ears are wrapped in concentration as Swami Sarvapriyananda talks in IIT Kanpur about concentration and how some people forget their physical selves as they do something like art or math or research..
…126 bits per second is our absorption capability. How much of it are we able to devote to the subject at hand is what the discussion is all about, he said…
As my concentration shifts a little my attention falls on the two people who are playing badminton, of which one of them, this time around, is my son! I felt the muscles of my face expand into a big smile. I see his strokes and I am amazed at his natural ability to learn new games.
I see the people who shared their equipment with him and … smile with gratitude… and I walk away.
My body tells me it is going to be ok. That ‘ok’ has all the previous habitual practices hidden behind it, only this time ignored and reduced to a spec. It is ok that he was able to communicate with strangers and play along with them; it is ok that he was asking for a favour and handling the situation by himself. It is ok that I didn’t feel the need to ask him to be fair, careful and not to be overbearing on them. It is ok that I didn’t feel the need to sheepishly walk up to them and thank them in words and exchange some social nicities.
He is much more capable of handling life. All he needs is my moral support and unconditional love.
I see myself walk away, shedding my old skin behind like a snake. It feel light and happy.
Is this a change significant enough to talk about? Maybe not to you, but yes, it is to me. Baby steps up the path of self – realisation.